kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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