Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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