I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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