I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
