flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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