the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
