eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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