i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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