After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize