Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
