the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
