..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
