i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I will be naked everywhere
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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