I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize