cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast