Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??

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  (603): he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward?? http://tfl.nu/1124
  Replies (22) Good night (4761) Bad night (955)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.

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  (954): It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life. http://tfl.nu/v7co
  Replies (10) Good night (783) Bad night (3722)
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  (626): View more from California

  HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?

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  (626): HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN? http://tfl.nu/rsqz
  Replies (51) Good night (6178) Bad night (2348)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days

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  (260): Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days http://tfl.nu/vj5z
  Replies (2) Good night (1917) Bad night (984)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.

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  (915): and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house. http://tfl.nu/ztys
  Replies (7) Good night (3630) Bad night (1314)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab

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  (705): And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab http://tfl.nu/8keh
  Replies (9) Good night (1928) Bad night (866)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?

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  (203): Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet? http://tfl.nu/v098
  Replies (14) Good night (3614) Bad night (960)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.

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  (832): Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control. http://tfl.nu/bxmz
  Replies (2) Good night (1793) Bad night (1324)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.

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  (201): Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain. http://tfl.nu/l4y5
  Replies (11) Good night (2762) Bad night (1523)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.

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  (516): I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick. http://tfl.nu/yu0a
  Replies (9) Good night (1843) Bad night (994)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.

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  (281): If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/0of8
  Replies (14) Good night (3238) Bad night (610)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.

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  (360): There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle. http://tfl.nu/htoq
  Replies (8) Good night (917) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.

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  (520): You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha. http://tfl.nu/0ooa
  Replies (3) Good night (559) Bad night (344)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.

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  (614): Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane. http://tfl.nu/2bgv
  Replies (6) Good night (1645) Bad night (355)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?

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  (757): Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window? http://tfl.nu/40u0
  Replies (6) Good night (695) Bad night (337)

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