She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
