the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
