the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
no more duck duck goose at the bar
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants