Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize