her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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