Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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