Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
