how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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