The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
