I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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