I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
