Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you didnt know i had herpes?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
