I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
