Non-Jews are for practice
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
