chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
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there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
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I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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