You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
