I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
