sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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