theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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