i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize