i don't like sucking hair
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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