You made me cry and you don't even care
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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