wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
