Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He kissed a someone with a penis
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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