P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Your cock deserves a montage
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
pray to the hookup gods
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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