What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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