dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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