She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
