You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
