What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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