Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
