i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
