I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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