I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
