Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i think i have herpe
just one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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