new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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