I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
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i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
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Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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