Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
