with your own penis?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
