i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
it glows. i had to have it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
