it hurts more in the daytime
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
