yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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