Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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