sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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