if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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