Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Just be blunt and say drink from my dick

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  (757): Just be blunt and say drink from my dick http://tfl.nu/8snw
  Replies (1) Good night (1200) Bad night (466) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll

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  (402): Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll http://tfl.nu/t4li
  Replies (12) Good night (570) Bad night (964) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B

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  (305): I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B http://tfl.nu/epjn
  Replies (35) Good night (1013) Bad night (3369) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.

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  (505): The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting. http://tfl.nu/bmo9
  Replies (12) Good night (4110) Bad night (463) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.

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  (334): The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning. http://tfl.nu/m75t
  Replies (13) Good night (1166) Bad night (3152) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".

  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.

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  (516): she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag". (917): I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag. http://tfl.nu/7xie
  Replies (57) Good night (1193) Bad night (11221)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  You know how I know you're gay?

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  (218): Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments (320): You know how I know you're gay? http://tfl.nu/13va
  Replies (36) Good night (6664) Bad night (853)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.

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  (850): Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either. http://tfl.nu/kaox
  Replies (1) Good night (1167) Bad night (1759)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.

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  (517): Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying. http://tfl.nu/uj2j
  Replies (3) Good night (1982) Bad night (668) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.

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  (330): He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me. http://tfl.nu/bsc2
  Replies (13) Good night (2011) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.

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  (540): how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove. http://tfl.nu/z4wf
  Replies (10) Good night (1382) Bad night (446) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this

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  (516): He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this http://tfl.nu/b4ty
  Replies (8) Good night (2876) Bad night (934) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that

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  (805): If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that http://tfl.nu/xc7d
  Replies (7) Good night (442) Bad night (1111)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready

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  (262): he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready http://tfl.nu/cfza
  Replies (10) Good night (720) Bad night (325) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians

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  (724): We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians http://tfl.nu/50hn
  Replies (6) Good night (485) Bad night (202) Order T-Shirt

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