I wanna passion pit in your ass
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.