Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it. http://tfl.nu/sgly
  Replies (18) Good night (753) Bad night (3816)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up http://tfl.nu/89z7
  Replies (27) Good night (2805) Bad night (4960)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker http://tfl.nu/hr9i
  Replies (15) Good night (1275) Bad night (4175)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch http://tfl.nu/8f48
  Replies (12) Good night (4406) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006. http://tfl.nu/ojn9
  Replies (8) Good night (1660) Bad night (4899)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.' http://tfl.nu/i088
  Replies (8) Good night (3073) Bad night (1030)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand http://tfl.nu/u3cn
  Replies (5) Good night (912) Bad night (2388)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila. http://tfl.nu/7xsl
  Replies (3) Good night (1418) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up. http://tfl.nu/kbsr
  Replies (0) Good night (1237) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway. http://tfl.nu/39nz
  Replies (1) Good night (667) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night. http://tfl.nu/rm2n
  Replies (2) Good night (784) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time. http://tfl.nu/sw9x
  Replies (2) Good night (1105) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only http://tfl.nu/xu5w
  Replies (11) Good night (426) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him http://tfl.nu/5l9m
  Replies (5) Good night (807) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes. http://tfl.nu/xsbd
  Replies (2) Good night (479) Bad night (286)

Randomize