Texts From Last Night

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  (972): View more from Texas

  Hey man sorry I got all grabby

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  (972): Hey man sorry I got all grabby http://tfl.nu/1c4w
  Replies (3) Good night (860) Bad night (706)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.

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  (863): I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy. http://tfl.nu/ar0z
  Replies (21) Good night (4578) Bad night (1814)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.

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  (210): OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR. http://tfl.nu/pgie
  Replies (44) Good night (1197) Bad night (9872)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..

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  (479): Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know.. http://tfl.nu/03rh
  Replies (8) Good night (3945) Bad night (923)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.

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  (270): Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail. http://tfl.nu/2ou5
  Replies (7) Good night (2887) Bad night (905)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.

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  (505): Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why. http://tfl.nu/r7vy
  Replies (7) Good night (2259) Bad night (782)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  sleazy september. first one with mono loses.

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  (609): sleazy september. first one with mono loses. http://tfl.nu/eipu
  Replies (11) Good night (2599) Bad night (923)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall

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  (540): i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall http://tfl.nu/ora9
  Replies (6) Good night (3834) Bad night (950)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.

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  (978): Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant. http://tfl.nu/4fg6
  Replies (40) Good night (1055) Bad night (6530)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...

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  (605): Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming... http://tfl.nu/2o49
  Replies (21) Good night (1797) Bad night (2824)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.

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  (229): I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight. http://tfl.nu/cauv
  Replies (12) Good night (1194) Bad night (1349)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  What happened to my knees?

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.

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  (919): What happened to my knees? (1-919): You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded. http://tfl.nu/49nz
  Replies (2) Good night (778) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?

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  (906): 2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night? http://tfl.nu/07lp
  Replies (1) Good night (819) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.

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  (612): I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen. http://tfl.nu/6isz
  Replies (2) Good night (347) Bad night (462)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.

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  (770): High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner. http://tfl.nu/6vaw
  Replies (3) Good night (1056) Bad night (226)

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