yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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