Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
