These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
