just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
