i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
