dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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