Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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